Need Some Advice Off The Normal Topic

Discussion in 'Anonymous' started by Anonymous, Mar 18, 2022.

  1. JusJamin

    JusJamin Full Member

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    Each case is different mate. Getting full custody is hard for either parties without just cause. My ex has let my children get hurt multiple times whilst in her care, with my son ending up in hospital being examined to see if he'd need a skin graft for his burn.

    I'm sure your case was likely more clear cut than most as its not often they'll give full custody to anyone without having reason to do so which is usually because a fear of serious injury and/or neglect to the child should they be left in their care.

    The point here though, is to give advice to the op who doesn't seem to be going through a case like that from what he's said, thankfully.
     
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  2. Dan71

    Dan71 Full Member

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    My case was clear cut in everyone’s eyes but the courts, I had social services telling the court if you give the child to the mother we will automatically remove my daughter and yet they still fucked around.
    On one occasion she turned up to court in a wheelchair with both legs and arms broken having thrown herself out of a second floor window trying to commit suicide.
    The court was told this, I actually thought great they are just going to throw her case out now and the judge looks at her and says I can see your not up for this today and I am going to adjourn it for 3 months so you can come back when you are better and she hadn’t even asked for an adjournment.
    It was like a fucking carry on movie and that is why I know how a court works when a mother digs her heels in
     
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  3. TONY FERGUSON

    TONY FERGUSON Winging my way to heaven as we speak, son. Top Contributor

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    You must have been the most unlucky person to ever step foot into a custody battle. I feel for you.

    But that is the exception not the rule. And as far as exceptions go I've never heard anything that crazy. The judge must have known her.
     
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  4. JusJamin

    JusJamin Full Member

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    Exactly, so nothing like what the op is going through and nothing like what I went through mate. I appreciate and have agreed that the bias is there and it's still hard for us dad's to get equally treated.

    But, if the court can order a full custody and deny the other parent access, they can also order shared care. It is uncommon though and it has to be suggested first for them to consider it as its easier to go the traditional once a fortnite setup as most dad's used to get in the past. But times are changing fortunately.

    My ex didn't agree to 5050 and appealed it, it was dismissed.
     
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  5. TONY FERGUSON

    TONY FERGUSON Winging my way to heaven as we speak, son. Top Contributor

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    This is exactly right. I don't know where this guy gets the idea that courts won't order 50/50 custody unless both parties agree to it. I reckon he's chatting shit personally.
     
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  6. Dan71

    Dan71 Full Member

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    Well then we both agree each other’s case is uncommon mine probably very rare. You would agree then without both parents agreeing 50/50 it is rare. Anyone who states fathers get equal treatment and fairness in a custody case has no idea what they speak of
     
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  7. TONY FERGUSON

    TONY FERGUSON Winging my way to heaven as we speak, son. Top Contributor

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    Anyone who states courts never order 50/50 custody without both parents' consent is the most clueless of all.
     
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  8. Dan71

    Dan71 Full Member

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    Yawn sorry Tony I fell asleep asleep at your endless drivel to always be right. Carry on son yes your right
     
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  9. JusJamin

    JusJamin Full Member

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    I'd agree that it's rare, but you did say it didn't happen and that's the only thing I was clarifying mate.

    At the end of the day, these things shouldn't happen, but they do and we as parents just need to play the game as best we can. If you can't get one up, atleast get even and don't give away any free points.
     
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  10. TONY FERGUSON

    TONY FERGUSON Winging my way to heaven as we speak, son. Top Contributor

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    Look just as JustJamin said and others have pointed out: you are wrong.

    You clearly said, sounding like a right tit I might add, that courts never give 50/50 custody. You were wrong and then tried backtracking after everybody called you out.

    We were all trying to give some good advice and then you strolled on in here like a cunt coming out with all kinds of bullshit.

    So if you want to pretend you've fallen asleep etc then go ahead.

    I say it's no wonder your ex-missus was such a fucking nut case.
     
    #55
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  11. Anonymous

    Anonymous

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    I am on the birth certificate I have continued to pay her money every week
    Even after she's stopped me seeing her.
    I've made two attempts at the school and my ex has flat refused me access there.even though the school were more than happy to agree to this,I'm currently waiting to see about my legal aid application I'm not sure what some mean by I won't get it as it's based on your wage and outgoings as far as I'm aware correct me if I'm wrong please.
    Then we're going straight to court as we tried an initial letter for two days a week to start off and build up from there however she emailed my solicitor 6/7 emails saying I was not getting access and her reasons.
    My solicotor has said it's good in a way she sent him emails saying he will get no access to my daughter as it's in black and white.
    We then waited to hear from her representative and they sent a letter saying her reasons for not allowing me to see her reasons being I have not bothered since September ect all lies thank fully I can prove.
    The police called me today they will be arresting my ex on harrasment and stalking charges in the coming days as she's sent me countles messages trying to get me to snap. For example pictures off our daughter saying look how she happy is she doesn't even ask for you anymore,I'm a useless dad countless abuse.
    Even appearing at my work demanding my pay details kicking off.as she thought she was not getting enough money from me..
    Despite showing her the proof on CSA calculator.like I said my only real concern is the fact she's took a picture off a needle on top of a bin and said I pit it there..also she has some gear in a box I had while there,she's sent me messages saying do you really want to show people this I'll never see my daughter again... Also saying the judge will laugh at me in court ect..she will get full custody it always goes to the mum...
    It put me in a bad place the abuse,I have done 3 domestic abuse questionnaires and had victim support call me a few times.
    So I had to get something done the police eventually said I have enough to charge as it became persistent.i have a horrible feeling it wil make her even worse and she will make up more lies..
    I just want to see my daughter again I sent from seeing her everyday having her overnight at her mum's while she worked to zero calling police on me anytime I went round.so I had to stop incase I got any harrasment orders put on me which I didn't thankfully.
    I want shred custody off my daughter defo as much time as possible I can get.
     
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  12. Dan71

    Dan71 Full Member

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    Well then go to your nearest court and tell the clerk you want to file for access to your child. They will give you the paperwork, fill it out and pay the fee.
     
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  13. Anonymous

    Anonymous

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    I'm not sure what you mean mate?
    My solicotor is awaiting the outcome of the legal aid decision then we will be pushing for a court date as far as I'm aware.
    I wasn't sure about any forms I could fill out ect myself, people just told me to get a solicitor asap.
     
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  14. TONY FERGUSON

    TONY FERGUSON Winging my way to heaven as we speak, son. Top Contributor

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    Like I say try not to stress so much. You have the necessary evidence it's just a question of biding your time right now. Ask your solicitor about getting supervised access arranged before the court makes any judgment on custody. This is key.

    But again the most important thing is for you to be cool. Stop coming up with all kinds of negative scenarios in your mind and stop worrying about the needle on the bin. You didn't leave it there and it is up to her to prove that you did. Her lies will be her undoing at the end of the day.
     
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  15. Anonymous

    Anonymous

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    Thanks I really appreciate the help and just talking about it has helped a little, I always think the worst I've heard so many horror stories about these family courts and how guys get screwed over. But I'm trying to stay positive as possible.i appreciate all the info and advice mate it honestly does mean alot just opening up about it as tbh I've just bottled alot up and made my self sick with worry.
     
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