Ending a relationship.

Its's a fair point tbh Yiddo, hated my ex who I had kids with, love my wife now who I don't have kids with, yet I know I'd find it easier (not that it wouldn't be hard) to walk away from my Mrs now than I did then, I guess guilt, and the feeling you've 'abandoned' them is a huge thing.
 
Yeah I think I'd feel duty bound by the kids to keep trying personally, if I knew I could do right by them and walk away though I'd definitely do so.


Life's too short to be unhappy, if I could get mine and still look after the kids I'd do so.
 
My head has been fucked for the past year with this whole situation. Left my wife but the guilt of leaving my son kills me everyday!
 
Had one of those weird early morning talks with the long term gf before this one.. Thankfully no kids involved so I could ask her to leave and call it a day. Pretty much tore me a new one at the time and I didn't sleep for 2 days but with hindsight, it was one of the best decisions I have made.
 
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andyboro said:
Had one of those weird early morning talks with the long term gf before this one.. Thankfully no kids involved so I could ask her to leave and call it a day. Pretty much tore me a new one at the time and I didn't sleep for 2 days but with hindsight, it was one of the best decisions I have made.
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That's the worry though sometimes isn't it? Well it could just be me lol. Whenever i have had to make a life changing decision i've had to tell myself this could be the best thing or worst thing i do. Then either do it or stick with what i've got. I guess as long as you learn from your mistakes though, just do what you think is best at the time.
 
Aye, I know what you mean... trying to be less cliche that lifes too short but it is really i suppose.
 
sorry to hear its blown up mate, but you need to get legal advice asap, as i'm sure she will have, or have people in her ear acting as "solicitors", fact is, if she decides not to leave the house if your "time apart" becomes the end of the relationship, it doesnt come down to affording it mate, she can then claim alot of benefits to help her stay now she's "single", plus you have to pay csa PLUS, and here's the biggy, you have to pay half the mortgage until the child is 18 or until she moves out with/meets someone else, at which point it goes to courts or an agreement for percentages, basically mate, be careful, she can have you paying half her way in that house without you even being/living together etc and they pay no attention to your circumstances and whther you can then afford to live elsewhere, a friend of mine is currently in the same boat, and not even allowed to touch any percentage of equity to sort himself out
 
Mike

Thanks for the advice. Its still ammicable at the moment, and we are going to try and work it out. But in the mean time i will be looking into the effects of this ending. 
 
Went to see the wife last night, Shes in a fucking mess! she doesnt really look after herself at the best of times, but theres been 2 deaths in the family since ive not been living with her, and shes taking it very badly, just found out they had to call an ambulence for her at work this morning as they were worried about her.

Thing is, last time we broke up (10 years ago or so) the same thing happened and she ended up in hospital for 3 days. Im not for a second saying shes spinning a yarn here. but surely this isnt normal??

I could fix her instantly by going back, but then would anything change?

My head is a fucking mess!
 
not saying this is the case but do you think she is doing it so you will go back?

IMO - not the right thing to do for long term happiness mate, but i think you know that deep down?
 
i have no experience of a relationship but in my experience with people in general a leopard never changes its spots.

all the best with what ever you do.
 
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mick_the_brick said:
not saying this is the case but do you think she is doing it so you will go back?

IMO - not the right thing to do for long term happiness mate, but i think you know that deep down?
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I hope shes not Mick.

Yeah, if i go back now its not going to change anything. despite her knowing ive not been happy for several years i can see us falling back into the same pattern within weks if not days.

I still really dont know where i want to be either, which is the real problem. All i know i want to do is put me first for a change, ive been pandering to other people all my life and ive had enough of it. Making other people happy at the expense of my own has been my whole adult life, not just women, but friends, family, work mates, customers, everyone!

Just venting.
 
Personally mate from reading through your posts i think you know what path to now follow just need to start walking down it and not look back.
 
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