Lets check...
Toys back in the pram = ✔
Dummy no longer spat out = ✔
Neck fully wound in = ✔
End of the comp coincided with my sister's wedding, mad rush to Cyprus, 40 something degree heat and solely subsisting off watermelon. Airline decided to give me an extra day in Cyprus which meant I got back to a mad few days with all my students taking exams and me running around is a super stressed state telling my lads to just BE F*CKING CALM! (Also had two lads beat the living sh*t out of another in my class - pressed the General Alarm and stood there with my dick in hand waiting for First Response to descend upon us in a rain of riot shields and truncheons. Nothing happened and I ended up wading in and separating them and getting blood on me Hollister shirt. C*nts.)
So, its been pretty busy - slacked off training (yeah ok maybe I was a little bit demotivated but I'm over that now)...diet went to pot and I ended up losing 3kg.
Its funny, one negative can have a knock on effect and suddenly you're on this spiral into muggle world (eating crisps, sleeping past 5am, using a lift etc)....diet and training and sleep are so important to me and I can't seem to focus on two and let another slip. If i was over sleeping I didnt have time for the gym, if I had't worked out I no longer had the bruning impetus to find the most logical and effective source of food to compliment that training and so on and so on.
Anyway, so I'm sitting in Morrison's cafe (yes, honestly) eating chips (seriously) and flicking through the pics my sis took of her holiday. The last time I was in Cyprus I was 16 and my sis took one of those random pictures of me on the beach. Nothing special in her eyes or the rest of my family and I think, looking at the photo, that I was mid conversation or mid epileptic fit or something. Anyway it was one of those disposable cameras and we had it developed when we got back...I remember looking at that pic of me wearing swim shorts and nowt else and feeling this cold, sick dread creeping all over my body. This was how I looked? This was how other people saw me? I was so think it was unreal, I could have easily been mistaken for someone with a sever eating disorder or history of POW camp experience. I nicked that photo and hid the f*cker in a book, allthe while trying to figure out who else could have seen in.
In my minds eye I saw the people at max spielburg or wherever standing around my photo, pointing and laughing whilst doing random double bi poses and squatting the photo developer machinery. I saw the people on the beach at cyprus whispering to each other behind their beach umbrellas 'poor lad, maybe a charity sent him here...
So anyway, fast forward to now, post holiday and I'm sitting in morrisons eating dem chips and flicking through the pics and suddenly there's a pic of standing next to my mum and dad and I don't look half bad. Don't get me wrong, I still look skinny but I don't look like I;ve just escaped from someone's cellar.
Didn't finish those chips. Got up, drove home, got my kit, went back to work then straight to the gym.
Motivated.
Motivated like a mudder fukker.
On top of that an ex-member of here (I'll put your name in if you want me to later) and I are competing against each other. 5th of September is the deadline and if either of us cry off we have to pay the other £100. He's already way aheadof me, we're just trying to beat each other in terms of development (and I am catching you up dude :P). But that competitive edge is back.
Hell yeah